Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Hands Up If You Can't Feel The Bottom Yet

He offered me a cup of tea. I didn't feel like it but I drank it anyway, to be polite. I asked him did he really love New York, or was he just wearing the shirt. He smiled, like he was nervous. I could tell he didn't understand, which made me feel guilty for speaking English, for some reason.
He said "New York?".
I said "your shirt"
He looked at his shirt. I pointed at the "N" and said "New" and the "Y" and said "York". He looked confused, or embarrassed, or surprised, or maybe even mad. I couldn't tell what he was feeling because I couldn't speak the language of his feelings.
"I not know was New York. In Chinese, ny mean 'you'. I thought was 'I love you'."
It was then that I noticed the "I <3 NY" poster on the wall, and the "I <3 NY" dishtowels, and the "I  <3 NY" lunchbox on the kitchen table. I asked him: "Well then why do you love everybody so much?"

I read your words as they arrived. At 2:24 and 2:40 am. Words are my favorite thing in the world. Yours leave me at a loss for mine.
"I'm going to sleep with roses in my hand tonight"

I haven't been sleeping well lately.. and when I do, I'm having really weird dreams. My roommate being attacked by killer bees, elevator cables snapping, myself and my friends being characters in "The Brave Little Toaster".
I read that it takes the average person 7 minutes to fall asleep. And people tell you to count sheep when you're trying to sleep, so I tried to count 7 minutes. 420 seconds went by. Still awake. Another 420 seconds. Try again? 420 seconds. I'm getting bored. 420 seconds, etc etc. I'm starting to see the sun come up. There's no point in trying to sleep now.
I wish I drank coffee. Coffee stunts your growth and I want to live forever.

Today's Entertainment News
  • Nsync's Joey Fatone and his wife welcome a baby girl, Kloey 
  • Joe Jonas has officially joined twitter. Teenboppers rejoice.
  • Jimmy Kimmel dressed up as Jay Leno last night for his show.. large prosthetic chin and everything! Entertaining!
  • Tobey Maguire won't be returning for the upcoming Spiderman movie. Word is that they're going to film a prequel with a completely different cast
  • JayZ and Beyonce are the top-earning celeb couple. $122 million
  • Heidi Montag (23) is addicted to plastic surgery. She just got her breasts enlarged (again), chin reduced, nose redone... and still wants more. see picture here. She also just released a song called "Eat My Panties off of Me." Classy. ""I brought some treats / I know that you gon love em/Come eat my panties off of me / Do whatever you feel comes naturally."
And here is Nick Jonas singing Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me", and then one of my faves "Catch me" by Demi Lovato


  1. Maybe the killer of Tiffany is you trying to "kill her single-ness"? I vote you re-double your efforts to set her up in the elevator.

  2. "I find it kind of funny... the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had." GJ