Monday, January 25, 2010

I'm Not An Actor That's Forgotten The Lines, I'm An Actor That Never Read The Script

Desperate, I unplugged all the clocks in my house. With time stopped, I hid in today, safely away from your impending visit tomorrow

I've only recently overcome my fear of the dark. And my fear of basements.
But not the fear of being in my basement in the dark. I still run up the stairs as fast as I can when I'm left down there alone.

This is truth.
This is also a metaphor.

Today's Entertainment News
  • Avatar tops Titanic this weekend as the biggest international release of all time. It has made over $1.8 billion!!
  • Gary Coleman arrested for domestic violence
  • Andy Dick arrested on sexual abuse charges
  • James Mitchell from "All My Children" has died at 89 years old
  • Jean Simmons has died at 80 years old
  • Jessica Simpson is releasing a denim jeans line specializing in "making a girl's booty look good"
  • Glee star, Jane Lynch engaged to her girlfriend
  • Rumors of Joe Jonas starting a solo project, just like his brother Nick. He says he's been writing and recording music for the last little while
  • Michael Lynch, an American Idol contestant, was dropped from the competition after his dad spoke to the media and revealed that his son made the top 24. This violated the confidentiality agreement, therefore, he was replaced by a runner-up. Ouch!
  • Radiohead raised over $572K for Haiti with a benefit concert in LA last night
  • Rumors of John Mayer dating... TAYLOR SWIFT?! This can't be right...


  1. Fact: I hooked John and Taylor up.
    Fact: You need a buddy who's not going to leave you in the basement alone!
    Fact: Friends shouldn't let friends play their piano.
    Fact: I jumped out a plane and am still falling.

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    1. Why didn't you hook ME up with John Mayer? Just so he could sing me a song, thats all I want

    2. If we're talking non-metaphorical here, my buddies think it's funny to leave me in the basement alone, so yes, I should find some buddies that are considerate of my fears.

    3. I won't even say I'm sorry for being a bad friend, it was funny to hear Tory sing and attempt to play my piano

    and 4... I sure hope you have a parachute.

  3. Fact: John will be yours in the next 3 years. You will be known as "Mayley." LOL
    Fact: Metaphorically... I have no clue.
    Fact: You should set up more friends for laughter.
    Fact: I will land on the world's largest trampoline.

  4. CORRECTION: Not John Mayer... You will end up with Justin Bieber and will be known as "Martin."

    Mayer will sing at your wedding.


    Beiber is too young for me. I like 'em older.