Tuesday, January 12, 2010

In a Cranky Mood, I Get Very Picky About Who I Love, But Catch Me In A Happy Mood And It's All Love.

"I want to get to know you through the music you love, the books that have changed you, through your most fleeting and foolish fantasies, and through my own five senses. I want to know the you who has stayed up too late, gotten too drunk, indulged in too many daydreams out loud, and is not worried about how she comes off. When the end comes, I promise I will not care exactly where we all went wrong"

Another restless night. Sleep, why won't you happen?

There is a boy that I carry on a relationship with through lyrics and, if I'm lucky, 12 second videos of him lip synching something. This may sound strange to you, but you have no idea how much I love words.

I don't know how I'm coming across in this blog. I'm not sure how I'm portraying my thoughts on love and marriage and relationships. Something that- although I'm nowhere near approaching- is on my mind quite often. I'm not sure how to portray it because I don't even understand my own take on the subject. Wait, does anyone? I'm fascinated by the process of falling in love, breaking apart, and coming together again. I would love to fall in love. Falling in love has got to be one of the greatest feelings. You have more dreams, you think faster, you smile so hard your cheeks hurt. Your heart beats so fast you can feel it lift the meat off your ribs. You blush and giggle more often. You walk into things.
That being said, heartbreak has always led me to become a better person. Somewhere between the not getting out of bed, crying your eyes out, and figuring out where it all went wrong... You figure yourself out too. I've also had it pounded into my head that a relationship is kryptonite for my dreams and that I've become so self-sufficient and independent in the last few months that I should continue with this process. And then there's the protective people in my life who are thoughtful, caring, and don't want to see me hurt. And by this thought, they don't want to see me with anyone and discourage all connection with the male species. This is why I loved telling Sean that I came back from Christmas engaged. To push his buttons.

I got the lead role in the music video I auditioned for the other day. ...It was the duck hunt comment, wasn't it?
SO EXCITED!!! This video is going to be amazing.

Today's Entertainment News:
  • Lady Gaga will be on Oprah this friday!
  • One pussycat doll back on the market: Nicole Scherzinger and Lewis Hamilton have broken up 
  • Mark Wahlberg welcomes a baby girl
  • Avril Lavigne's album, titled "The Pink Crust" was supposed to be released this past November, but is being delayed because of her divorce.
  • Megan Fox is the new face for the Armani underwear ads. I can't see anyone being upset about this.
  • CUJO! Curtis Joseph announced this morning at the ACC that he's hanging up the goalie pads. Retiring after 18 years in the NHL


  1. As I read your blog the lyrics for "Magnificent," started to drift through my mind.
    "Only love, only love can leave such a mark
    But only love, only love unites our hearts
    Justified, till we die you and I will magnify, oh, oh Magnificent, magnificent, magnificent" ~ U2.
    Love left many marks on me, but when the right love came around it magnified my life.
    Great Blog!

  2. falling in love is the most amazing feeling, I completely agree. But losing that love or the person you love is the worst feeling. They are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Do you think that those sleepless nights where you eventually fall asleep for a couple of hours only to wake up with bags under your eyes because you have cried so much and ended up sleeping in a puddle of tears worth falling in love? The broken heart, the crazy emotional person you become, the hate you have for ever falling in love...still makes it worth it do you think?

  3. Definitely worth it.. from what you felt in the moment and for what you'll become when the heartbreak is all over. That's when I'm most appreciative of everything that happens in relationships. It's such a struggle that I'm so proud to overcome every time.

  4. It definitely makes you a much stronger person as well as teaches you so much. To get to another "falling in love", you need to meet someone that will make you forget all this pain and hurt that you felt after you lost your previous love, someone that makes you think it is worth doing all over again.

  5. I think it's always worth doing again. Never with the same person though, things end for a reason. I wouldn't want to shut myself off to future happiness because of a past experience. Just learn from it.