Friday, February 5, 2010

I Think We Should Stop Making Small Talk

I went to a tattoo parlor and had YES written onto the palm of my left hand, and NO onto my right palm. What can I say? It hasn't made my life wonderful, its made life possible. When I rub my hands against each other in the middle of winter I am warming myself with the friction of YES and NO. When I clap my hands I am showing my appreciation through the uniting and parting of YES and NO. I signify "book" by peeling open my hands. Every book, for me, is the balance of YES and NO, even this one, my last one. Especially this one. Does it break my heart? Of course. Every moment of every day. Into more pieces than my heart was made of. I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent. I never thought about things at all. Everything changed. The distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me. My thinking. The cancer of never letting go. Is ignorance bliss? I don't know, but it's so painful to think. And tell me, what did thinking ever do for me? To what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it

It's the weekend. I'm so happy. I've been looking forward to the weekend since... last weekend. I have to make sure my heart beats as fast as it can, at least once a day. I want intense dreams and terrifying nightmares again. I want to be thrilled by a kiss and heartbroken again. Do something risky, break a bone. I'm restless.
Have a great weekend everyone :)

Today's Entertainment News
  • Brittany Murphy's cause of death revealed: pneumonia and iron-deficiency anemia as well as multiple drug intoxication. The drugs in her system were for cramps and over-the-counter medicine including cough syrup
  • Frances Reid (from Days Of Our Lives) has died at 95
  • James Cameron is already creating plots for two more Avatar films
  • George Lucas is considering retooling the Star Wars movies into3D 

1 comment:

  1. Ya go crazy. Drive the sun into the ground and make the moon long for daylight.
    Inject you heart with danger and hope it beats again come monday.