Friday, March 12, 2010

It's Said That When The Put Their Ears To The Shell Of His Ears, They Could Hear Themselves.

When he heard music he no longer listened to the notes, but the silences in between. When he read a book he gave himself over entirely to commas and semicolons, to the space after the period and before the capital letter in the next sentence. He discovered the places in a room where silence gathered; the folds of curtain drapes, the deep bowls of the family silver. When people spoke to him, he heard less and less of what they were saying, and more and more of what they were not. He learned to decipher the meaning of certain silences, which is like solving a tough case without any clues, with only intuition. And no one could accuse him of not being prolific in his chosen metier. Daily, he turned out whole epics of silence. In the beginning it had been difficult. Imagine the burden of keeping silent when your child asks you whether God exists, or the woman you love asks if you love her back. At first he longed for the use of just two words: Yes and No. but he knew that just to utter a single word would be to destroy the delicate fluency of silence.

All you had to do was look at how each had approached the same subject. Where he saw a page of words, his friend saw the field of hesitations, black holes, and possibilities between the words. Where his friend saw dappled light, the felicity of flight, the sadness of gravity, he saw the solid form of a common sparrow. His life was defined by a delight in a delight in the weight of the real; his friend's by a rejection of reality, with its army of flat-footed facts. Looking at his reflection in the dark window, he believed something had been peeled away and a truth revealed to him: He was an average man. A man willing to accept things as they were, and, because of this, he lacked the potential to be in any way original.

March 12th. A year ago, today, my brother was diagnosed with Diabetes.

I went to bed a little bit mad yesterday. I try not to do this, because everyone says it's bad for you... which I understand. You should end your day on a good note, with positive emotions. However you end the day will carry into the beginning of the next day. It will decide how you spend those first two minutes when you wake up.

It affected my dreams last night. They were all over the place. I cannot understand how a dream that seems to go on forever is really only a few seconds long, according to science. I had dreams about my brother being bullied, which hurts me because I didn't have the greatest childhood friends and bullying in children is something I can't stand. I'm really passionate about working with young kids/teenagers with their confidence and attitude in life. I want to do something in this area.

In my conversation with myself/god/the universe/whoever was listening that I always have at the end of the day, I asked a lot of questions. Magically, this morning I woke up to a text message from my good friend Rachel. Words of encouragement, and subtly, the answers to all the questions I asked the night before.
I swear to you, and I believe so strongly: The universe provides answers and everything you need when you need it.
_________________________

I looked at my friend Devan's blog and was pleasantly surprised when part of her blog post was about me!
Marley visited from Toronto last week. I haven't seen her in over a year. I have a lot of respect for her - her dreams are just as big and crazy and unrealistic as mine are and she's not letting anything get in her way. She just gets it. The result of our hangout is a video that's either going to blow your mind, or… no, it'll just blow your mind.

I can't wait to show you this video. Seriously, it's ridiculous....ly awesome?

Devan also wrote something the other day that really inspired me. She teaches a good lesson. To let go. We always need to let go...
I want to let go of the friends who only want me around when they need me. I want to let go of the people who say they'll call and never do. I want to let go of the boy who wasn't willing to fight for me. I want to let go of the daydreams that he'll show up at my doorstep and tell me he finally realizes it was the biggest mistake to let me go. I want to let go of the people who say they'll be there, but never are. I want to let go of the guys who don't want me as a friend once they get a girlfriend. I want to let go of the guys who can't just be my friend. I want to let go of the guys who fall for me for a few weeks and then drift away. I want to let go of the girls who don't need me until they break up with their boyfriend. I want to let go of the people who were never friends to begin with.

Remember what I always tell you about the universe bringing you exactly what you need when you're ready for it?
...It's completely true.

Today's Entertainment News
  • Katherine Heigl is set to exit Grey's Anatomy
  • Beyonce and Gaga new music video. It's really long but you HAVE TO SEE IT
    Music video of the year??

     

4 comments:

  1. the music video is terrible

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  2. Haha This is gonna sound ultra creep...
    but did you used to work at the Bounce?

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  3. Wow small world.

    My names is James, I used to work there too,board oping and overnights, we met once or twice.

    I know Devan and I read her blog the other day and seen the post you just made and suddenly it clicked haha

    ReplyDelete