Thursday, September 9, 2010

Let Love Write On You For A While.

You and I have choices we don't even know. But even if we could return to innocence, start from the beginning, still we must stare into the sun and want it. Chase the same sweet lines of a magnetic field that misleads us terribly sincerely wishing it were true

Where do you draw the line between loving, wanting, needing, and choosing?

I was reading about codependency and how our natural human need for each other, and love, and acceptance, can be seen as co-dependency. When you want to be with your best friend and lover forever, that's love, not co-dependency.

I had a dream last night about breaking up with an ex boyfriend, and going to his house to get all of my things. This dream actually reminded me of exactly how much of my things may still be there. I don't want them back. Just like you can lose your belongings in a break up, you lose much of yourself as well. You lose those pieces and other pieces take their place. Whether they are stronger characteristics, or maybe fears, something will take their place.

Maybe you grow from a break up. Maybe you develop fears that will affect future relationships. Unfortunately, it's those fears that will actually attract those negative things towards you. If you don't change your outlook and have expectations for the best, then you may still be attracting the same kind of bad relationship over and over again.

You know that phrase, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"...
I think I'm finally realizing how much I can actually relate to it. I've written in here before that break ups can be the worst time of your life, but after it's all over and done, I look back on it as one of the best times of my life. Yes, they're painful, yes, I'm really hard on myself while dealing with it, but the healing process is one that I wouldn't trade for anything. I don't wish anything bad upon my exes, I don't wish that I had never met them. I can't say that I could ever be friends with them again, but they were an important part of my life at one point, and always will be because of the growth I obtained from those experiences.

We really have to hammer it into our heads, that people don't change.

And I'm so glad, because I'm finally with someone that I never want him to change.

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