Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Nothing Lasts Forever, No Matter How It Feels Today

"love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."

I've read quotes and poems and novels and short stories that all read something along the same lines of "don't make someone your everything, because if you lose them you have nothing". It's so easy to seek happiness in others when the initial meeting gives you butterflies and warmth, and of course we're human beings and we're selfish and needy and we want that feeling to last and last forever. But keep in mind, it won't. After a certain period of time it requires effort. I had a hard time understanding what people meant when they said "relationships take work". It was always an effort I wanted to make.

I was recently given the challenge to date myself. For the month of May -- or as he called it, the "Month of Marley", I'm going to take myself out on dates twice a week. Non-negotiable, quality time with myself. I'm looking forward to it.

Will I be nervous on the first date? Will I encounter awkward silences followed by nervous laughs? Perhaps I'll buy myself flowers. Is that too tacky? Do I offer to pay the bill? (obviously). How many dates till we get intimate?

These dates are going to be special. I spend quality time with myself every day, but these dates will be different. I'm going to do things for myself and take myself out with the intention of getting to know myself better and finding what truly makes me happy. I'm going to take myself out to special places, and it's going to be wonderful.

Everything that bespeaks a fabulous attitude comes from a sense of self-worth and self-admiration. It is the gravitational pull that moves interesting and exciting people into your life. Fabulous lovers are not born, they’re made. A fabulous lover must have a love of life, a joie de vivre, an exuberance, passion and intensity that sends rockets into the air. They care about everything because everything matters. Forget “whatever.” If your lover is still using that word, give him a heads up: “We’re not in Kansas anymore!”

Fabulous lovers are happy people. The reason they’re happy is because they are listening to the best radio station in the world (no, not Pandora). They’re listening to an endless loop of self-affirming commentary that makes them feel as though they can take on the world.

Change the inner radio and outer broadcast to Rapport Vs. Report. This means listening with a deep need to understand, to offer solace, compassion and warmth, rather than just hearing the news of the day. Try to communicate in a way that encourages rapport between yours and your lover’s dreams and aspirations.

Women on the fence: On being a fabulous lover.
Exactly what I needed to read today.

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