Monday, January 28, 2013

I've Got 99 Problems And A Red Balloon Ain't One!

“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”

I got in a car accident this weekend. I spun out of control and landed in the ditch. I'm really grateful that all I walked away with were bruises, headaches and soreness -- it could have been a lot worse. Even though the Universe is gentle with my lessons, that one really shook me.

Veered off the straight road
Needed a lift to find my way back.
Saw it all coming and it still happened.

But I'm safe.

I thought about how quickly it happened. One minute I was on the road, the next I was not. I thought about how I scold Keghan when he's not wearing a seatbelt in my car, and why these are the moments when it's so important. I thought about who I should call first. I thought about guard rails, and why there wasn't one there to keep me on the road. Then the more I thought about it, I realized how scratched and banged up my car could have been if there had been a guard rail to slide into. Even if the guard rail was there to keep me on the same road, the results would have led to more visible damage. Instead I went right into the snow, leaving my vehicle still intact and without a single dent or scratch.

Last week I asked for a sign. I asked that if I'm meant to stay where I am to show me a sign. Making it more specific for the Universe, I asked "Show me a red-heart shaped balloon." That's how I ask for signs. I put my intention out there, ask for what information I need, and I let it go.

Yesterday while stopped at a red light, I turned to my right and saw A BALLOON STORE! This is a road I take fairly regularly and I had never seen it in my life. The window was filled with balloons. Big beautiful blues, greens, polkadots, stripes, congratulatory ones, animated characters... and among them, my red heart-shaped balloon. I had to search through the sights of all these other beautiful balloons competing for my attention, but it was there. I expressed my gratitude and continued on my drive. Thanks, but what does that mean? I had gotten my red heart-shaped balloon, but with a twist.

Within the next few hours things in my life had shifted significantly. I met a woman I had many synchronicities with. We were complete strangers but had lots of friends and experiences in common, and a very similar life path. She had a kyanite stone in her pocket. I had a kyanite stone in my pocket. She had just bought a lapis lazuli stone. I was wearing lapis lazuli earrings. A moment I couldn't find words for. We shared some tears and I went home with a beautiful gift from her. I had a heartfelt realization. God is in the pots and pans, she told me. I had heard this before but it wasn't until that moment when it really clicked. My day continued with a difficult and teary conversation. Followed by my drive into the ditch. Luckily without injuries and gratefully, with eager helpers that had the tools to pull me out quickly. The key point is that I was recovered quickly and painlessly.

With all that had happened it was an emotional day. I had a hard time staying present in conversations. I was calm but drifting in my ability to concentrate and focus. It was a strange state to be in. I slept on it and dreamt of balloons. When I woke in the morning I found the image below at the top of my news feed. I don't think it could get any more clear. Thanks for the clarification.

I've veered off my current path and continued on to a new one. I needed a lift to get there, which came quickly and painlessly, but I'm there. I'll be honest, I'm a little cautious to take that road again. I won't know when it's right but I'll know when it feels wrong. I know I will take that road again, but perhaps not until the snow melts and the icy patches are gone. I can't risk getting stuck in the ditch again or being in an even worse situation by colliding with or hurting someone else. So maybe in the spring. Spring sounds good.

...This isn't about the road and my car anymore is it?
...Was it ever? ;)

“How can the future be molded with hands full of baggage labeled “What Was” and “What Could’ve Been?” Where can you go with all that stuff, and how much fun will you have with it when you get there? Leave those bags behind, and hope they stay lost before you get to your next destination. All right, take a few souvenirs if you must, but just nice stuff. No junk.”
Song of the day: Sunburn - Ed Sheeran

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