Monday, October 20, 2014

The Art of Letting Go

Basements. Sometimes they are used for storage. Sometimes for extra luxury space in your home. I'm consciously tuning into my deepest darkest corners for the clutter I may be holding on to. The things sitting there that I've forgotten about. The stuff I've pushed to the side with the intention of "getting around to it eventually". The items that I keep thinking I may one day need it, but likely won't ever... My house looks like this too, and I have no doubt that it's a reflection of myself. I moved to this house over a year ago. There are still boxes in the basement waiting to be unpacked. We all have things like these. Again, a reflection. There always seems to be baggage you forgot you had.

In my defense, I have done a lot to make the basement into "extra luxury space" rather than storage, and a lot of the boxes that are left unpacked are because they're waiting for the renovations to be completed, whenever that may be. 

I moved in with my Gido to help take care of him after my Baba passed away, so my home doesn't really feel like "mine". But as long as my Gido is here there is nowhere else I'd rather be. I wouldn't trade hearing his same stories over and over again for anything. Or having to monitor what he puts in the freezer. Or making sure he eats more than just mayonnaise sandwiches every day. Or always living with the scent of Listerine and Apple Cider Vinegar because he believes they are the best home remedies for just about anything.

We are in the process of renovating. We have cleared out enough junk to fill three 5-tonne dumpsters. Sometimes as we are throwing out the junk, Gido stops us and says "wait, don't throw that away"-- pointing at a broken chair. I know he has good intentions. I know he thinks he can fix it and make it better. But that's also how we have enough junk here to fill three dumpsters, thinking he'll one day get to it and mend everything he stored away. But the truth is, you can't fix everything. You can't make everything better. Take what you need, keep what's sentimental, let go of the rest. 

As I clear out space I feel a shift in myself happening. We're in a period of transition with the change of seasons, the transformation of our home, and adjustments in our routines. As I clear out space in my home I feel that space is clearing in my life. Things that no longer serve me are falling away, new experiences are showing up unexpectedly. And then there's this feeling like something else exciting is on it's way. It's like I'm waiting on the platform for a train to arrive but not sure what will greet me. Whatever life brings I know it will be good.

In the meantime... I have another dumpster to fill.